SCARE OF MY LIFE!!!
My life literally just flashed before my eyes! As I was walking in from work, with my sleepy 4 year old in hand, my cell phone started to ring. I could not answer it because my daughter was starting to whine so my goal was to get her in the house ASAP! I checked my voicemail and had received a message from my Dr's office instructing me to log into my online account b/c my doctor left a message for me there.
O....k, this already does not sound good. I immediately felt like crying, so many thoughts were going through my mind. As of today my period is one week late so I was thinking NOOOOOO!!! I don't want to be pregnant at this time in my life, my body is unhealthy and I'm in an unhealthy relationship. My husband and I have not been on good terms in months, I cannot bring another child into this.
The next thought was: Cancer? Noooo, damn, why, why, my daughter is only 4. So I tried calling the office back but of course I can't get through b/c the medical center is closed. I know logging into my account will take some time b/c I forgot my password, but eventually I get in.
The Message:
Hi,
You missed your physical appt on 12/5/2011 . Your blood count & cholesterol are normal . But blood sugar is high suggesting diabetes . Please make sure to re schedule your physical so that we can discuss details in person & repeat the tests as needed.
Diabetes is definitely worth crying over...but who has the time. All I can do at this point is figure this shit out one vegetable at a time. On my way home from work I kept yearning for a candy bar, or something sweet, thinking it would soothe my senses.
Look at what I've been doing to myself, killing myself, and I have the nerve to still crave this shit, causing me all of this harm and I still love it (kind of like my husband). Discipline, I am capable. I will re-schedule my physical for the end of January.
My life literally just flashed before my eyes! As I was walking in from work, with my sleepy 4 year old in hand, my cell phone started to ring. I could not answer it because my daughter was starting to whine so my goal was to get her in the house ASAP! I checked my voicemail and had received a message from my Dr's office instructing me to log into my online account b/c my doctor left a message for me there.
O....k, this already does not sound good. I immediately felt like crying, so many thoughts were going through my mind. As of today my period is one week late so I was thinking NOOOOOO!!! I don't want to be pregnant at this time in my life, my body is unhealthy and I'm in an unhealthy relationship. My husband and I have not been on good terms in months, I cannot bring another child into this.
The next thought was: Cancer? Noooo, damn, why, why, my daughter is only 4. So I tried calling the office back but of course I can't get through b/c the medical center is closed. I know logging into my account will take some time b/c I forgot my password, but eventually I get in.
The Message: 
Hi, You missed your physical appt on 12/5/2011 . Your blood count & cholesterol are normal . But blood sugar is high suggesting diabetes . Please make sure to re schedule your physical so that we can discuss details in person & repeat the tests as needed.
Diabetes is definitely worth crying over...but who has the time. All I can do at this point is figure this shit out one vegetable at a time. On my way home from work I kept yearning for a candy bar, or something sweet, thinking it would soothe my senses.
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